My dad don’t believe me, but it’s true. I swear.
Even Billy believes me, and my brother Billy is dumber than a post. But Billy saw it. Dad didn’t. I think that is why Dad doesn’t believe me.
There is a monster in our closet. He is big, and blue, and has scales and two fiery eyes. He has sharp teeth and likes to eat kids. And then he likes to eat babies for dessert.
Fortunately for the monster, there is me, and my brother Billy, and our baby brother Bobby in his crib, all in my room, waiting to be eaten.
But that old monster don’t know what’s waiting for him. See, I don’t intend to be eaten tonight, despite what dad says about there being no monster and me not being eaten because it is just shadows and my imagination. I’ve put together a plan, and I’ve even got Billy to help. Bobby won’t help much as he will probably just be sleeping, but at least he will thank me one day when I tell him that his big brother saved him from being monster dessert.
Bucky, the monster slayer. That’s me!
Anyway, the monster. Tonight, when the lights go out and mom and dad go down the hall to their room, the monster will wait. He will wait long hours for me and Billy (on the top bunk) and Bobby (in the crib) to go to sleep. Then, he will quietly ease the closet door open. He will rustle our good Sunday clothes, and he might shuffle my old sneakers out of the way (so he don’t trip) and he will gingerly sneak past my LEGO tower and my G.I. Joe base. He will try not to knock over my erector sets and my house of cards, cause that might make noise and wake us up. I know that this is what he will try to do because last night he knocked over my Lincoln log house. (Dad swears that there is no monster, and that he knocked over my Lincoln log house last night when he came in the room to check on Bobby, but I know better. I know it was the monster.)
Once the monster passes the Lincoln log house, he then has to walk across the open part of the room, all the way to our bunk bed, on the far wall. He will pass right by Bobby’s crib, ’cause he won’t eat him till dessert. He will want to eat dinner first, and get the big boys out of the way. Me and Billy discussed it this afternoon, and we still aren’t sure if the monster will go for Billy on the top bunk first, and work his way down to me, or if he will go for me on the bottom bunk first, and then work his way up to Billy, but either way, I think we’ve got him!
That old monster won’t know what hit him, because we will only be pretending to sleep. We will stay tucked under our covers like Mom tucks us in, all neat and tidy after our prayers, and we will pretend to snore, and maybe mumble a little bit, just to fool that monster into thinking that we really are asleep. Because, see, monsters are a little wary, sometimes, and they won’t attack if they think us kids are awake, because they have to attack while we are asleep. Monsters are funny that way. Anyway, we will pretend to be asleep, because otherwise the monster won’t come, and then we won’t be able to kill him so he won’t eat Billy, Bobby, and me.
So, anyway, I hear that monsters like to eat kids for dinner, and babies for dessert, so I hope he brings his appetite tonight, because I want to see how well he likes the taste of my baseball bat.
Billy has his tennis racket, but what good a tennis racket is going to be against a monster, I don’t know.
Billy is kinda stupid that way.