Time to Think

Aaaah. Room to stretch. I am writing this post from the Messiah College campus on my iMac, all of the rest having been written on my iPad, and I can tell you, it is nice to get a little room to maneuver. Don’t get me wrong, I love the iPad, and am amazed that I have lived with it as my only link to the world wide web for so long without going mad, but I own a 21″ iMac for a reason. More on that on Monday.

I have been graduated for all of twelve days, and after moving, and cleaning the old apartment, I have been sitting around the new apartment.

My Jeep has a weird issue that restricts me from driving it above 40 mph, safely that is, and Hannah takes the car into work, so I can’t really go anywhere. This being central Pennsylvania, the drivers really hate it when you drive the speed limit, much less 10 mph slower than the posted limit, and this being central Pennsylvania, everything is distressingly out of walking distance. No, really, I would walk to the grocery store out of sheer boredom, but I draw the line at anything over 8 miles. Besides, this walking would be along the roads where the maniacs drive, and that doesn’t make me feel any safer than driving my Jeep does. So, I sit around the apartment.

I could get a job, maybe, though I have tried and haven’t been successful so far (apart from not having a safe car to drive) but my wife might be hired for a job that would require us to move to Wisconsin, and it isn’t fair to an employer to get a job and quit a week and a half later. So, for the moment, I sit around the apartment.

While I do, I watch baseball, blog a bit, but mostly think. I think about my life, and all that I have accomplished: graduating from high school, Bible school, and college; dating and marrying a wonderful woman; making a few friends; and, um, I am sure other things. If I were honest, or depressed, I would say that it doesn’t feel like I have really done any of those things. Sure, I have a woman who sleeps in my (our) bed now, and I guess in a few weeks Messiah College will mail me a diploma, but if I went by feelings, as far as I can tell I feel like I did when I was 15, sitting around at home playing Need for Speed on my computer.

Maybe that is because I sit around by myself most of the day. I don’t know, because I have no basis for comparison, not having ever had a full time, or part time, job that required me to be outside of the house. I honestly don’t know what kind of job would appeal to me, though the idea of lifting heavy things or working at McDonald’s turns my stomach. If it were up to me, and money didn’t matter, I would rather just hang out with my wife and create. Create writing, create art, create music, create photography…just create. Being alone for a large part of the day saps my energy and my creative momentum. Writing this blog takes most of what I do have. That might astound me, except for the observation that my most highly creative times in the past three years have come right after my favorite English classes.

Where do I go from here? I am not really sure. For the time being, I have to wait anyway to see what happens with my wife’s job/no job thing. On the complete other side of things, the past five years of college have worn me out more than I can say, so it is really nice to have no real demands on my energy besides dishes and making the bed.

Forgive my personal ramblings, dear readers, but that is what Thursday is about on this blog, and it is mildly therapeutic for me to write this stuff. Tomorrow is baseball day, and I have a feeling it may be a bit of a rant. The Indians haven’t been playing too well as of late.

Don’t forget to email me questions, musings, or random thoughts for Tuesday’s Q&A blog, or just to say hi.

Peace.

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PhilRedbeard

I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe. I write about what interests me.

3 thoughts on “Time to Think”

  1. uh huh. I don’t like lifting heavy things because then I can’t move without pain for three days. And I don’t like working at McDonald’s because the information overload would overload me. I don’t have a problem with either job in principle, and if driven to it, would work either job to keep from starving.

  2. It sounds to me like someone needs to work out more. Search through Art of Manliness — they’ve had some posts on how to work out on the cheap, without needing a gym membership or expensive weight tools.

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